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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25934437">Living Series - Snippets &amp; Snapshots</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tori_Scribbles/pseuds/Tori_Scribbles'>Tori_Scribbles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Living [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, First Meetings, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Multi, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Snippets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:29:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25934437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tori_Scribbles/pseuds/Tori_Scribbles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshots and missing scenes from the Living 'verse<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>Reuploaded 2020. Written between 2013 and 2017.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton &amp; Darcy Lewis, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Living [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Robin Hood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey, so wow. I really thought everybody would have just forgotten about this series and nobody would notice if I took it down, so getting not one but six messages asking what happened to it and if it could be put back up was... incredible honestly. I started writing this series when I was fourteen and now nearly six years later, I'm not loving some of the ways I wrote (see the fact that this is in first person) and this entire series I think is nearly 200k which is too much to go through and edit (trust me, I tried!)<br/>But I'm reuploading it, mostly unedited since it was first posted and although I would love to be able to go through and edit and finish this series, I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon what with my own life commitments, I don't love the MCU's choices from like Age of Ultron onwards (apart from Thor:R, BP, CM and SM, those are excellent pieces of film!)<br/>I do regret taking this series down now that I'm going through it again and I am incredibly proud of fourteen year old me for doing all of this!<br/>Each of these stories will be posted again as one chapter so please read the warnings and tags at the beginning of each that apply for the entire thing. The snippets and outtakes will also be reuploaded!<br/>Again, thank you so much for your support. It really does mean a lot! </p>
<p>You can still find all of the gifs and edits on my tumblr <a href="https://purplepingupenguins.tumblr.com/tagged/living+series">here.</a></p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Set pre-series, right after Thor goes back to Asgard after New Mexico</p><p><b>Chapter Warnings:</b> Sexual Harrassment at a bar.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“The usual Darcy?” Tommy, the perverted barman asked as I pulled myself up onto a barstool, my hand automatically massaging my thigh, where my prosthetic was cutting into my skin.</p><p>“Yeah, please,” I said, with a sigh running my hand through my hair.</p><p>I’d spent all day dealing with Jack Booted Thugs who didn’t respect the words, ‘personal space’ or ‘don’t touch me’.</p><p>“Those feds still hanging around?” Tommy asked, as I watched him pour me some tequila.</p><p>“That’s one word for it. Do you reckon I can sue them for harassment?” I asked curiously.</p><p>I looked around the bar, a couple of guys in dark suits were playing darts, though their ties hung loose, and jacket’s had been slung over chairs.</p><p>A woman was sitting in the corner, every few minutes her eyes would sweep round the bar, and as one of the suits knocked a chair her hand shot to her hip, as she scowled at them.</p><p>I flinched as Tommy’s hand hit my wrist as he set down a glass in front of me.</p><p>“Sorry,” I muttered, pulling my sleeve over my hand, I knocked back the shot, and sighed as it made my head spin slightly before settling down.</p><p>“This one on the house,” He said, setting a bottle of beer in front of me.</p><p>“Thanks Tommy,” I said, wrapping my sleeve covered hands around the cold glass bottle.</p><p>He nodded before going to serve another customer.</p><p>I glanced up as the door opened, and a tall guy with short dirty blond hair came in a pair of jeans and a leather jacket over a black t-shirt. He looked kinda familiar, probably one of the guys that took my iPod. He was with Agent Coulson, Son-of-Coul. Who as usual, was wearing his crisp black suit, which screamed fed!</p><p>“Son-of-Coul, come to return my iPod?” I asked, with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“I’m afraid not Miss Lewis,” He said almost regretfully.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure that was part of the deal with Thor, that you returned all of the stuff you took from us,” I queried with a raised eyebrow. I jumped in surprise as the guys playing darts cheered at something loudly.</p><p>Coulson glanced over at them scathingly, but the other guy just raised an eyebrow at me.</p><p>“It was, <em>but</em> for the sake of national security we have to review all of the data and electronic devices that you, Doctor Foster and Doctor Selvig own.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he carried on talking. “We traced the fake ID that you made Thor back to a laptop registered to you. When we searched your lab, we never found a laptop,”</p><p>I raised my beer to my lips to cover my smile. Thinking about my laptop which was currently stashed in Alex’s apartment above their garage.</p><p>“You really think me, a Poli-Sci student could damage national security, with a laptop. Is that a compliment or an insult, I can’t tell,” I said tilting my head to the side slightly, as if contemplating it.</p><p>“Compliment,” The mystery guy said. Coulson rolled his eyes as he took a seat. Gesturing to Tommy for two beers.</p><p>“Either way. I neither confirm nor deny the existence of this supposed laptop. Though I can confirm that <em>if</em> this laptop does exist, you will not find it,” I said simply.</p><p>Mystery dude snorted into his beer. I suddenly realised why I recognised him. He was the dude that kept sitting on rooftops with a bow and arrow.</p><p>“You're the Robin Hood dude,” I said suddenly.</p><p>Coulson cracked a grin as Robin Hood rolled his eyes as if he'd heard that at least a hundred times before.</p><p>The crowd of suits cheered again and I cursed myself for flinching. I balled my fists up tightly, my nails digging into the palms of my hands, forcing myself to remember where I was.</p><p>Coulson and Robin Hood both looked over at them.</p><p>“Agents,” Coulson shouted. The five guys froze, their heads snapping over to him. “Keep it down,” he snapped.</p><p>There was a lot of muttered “yes sirs,” and “sorry sirs,” before they went back to their game, a lot quieter than before.</p><p>“Sorry about them,” Coulson said. I shrugged.</p><p>“I've seen worse,” I shrugged. “Soldiers on leave. They're all quite good compared to some.” I watched the men laugh and my mind drifted back to Jake and Mike.</p><p>Sometimes they’d get back and would go straight to a bar. Other times, they'd shut themselves away, and not talk to anybody for days.</p><p>“It’s better they're like this than the alternative,” I said and Robin Hood raised his glass in agreement.</p><p>“You serve?” He asked.</p><p>“Nah,” I shook my head. “I failed my medical. My brothers currently in Afghanistan. What about you? Did you have a military life before the men in black?” I asked.</p><p>“Army, two tours,” he said with a small sad smile.</p><p>I swirled my bottle round, watching the liquid twist, before tipping back the last mouthful.</p><p>“So Darcy,” Tommy said, leaning his elbows on the bar. “Any plans tonight?” I asked suggestively. I clenched my jaw, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. <em>Take a hint dude.</em></p><p>“Probably going to be in the middle of the desert with Jane, looking for pretty lights in the sky, or falling Norse gods,” I said. “Anything’s possible. Land of enchantment ‘nd all,”</p><p>“How ‘bout you take the night off?” He suggested.</p><p>“Tempting,” I said a faux sweet tone to my voice. “But no thanks. I will however take another beer,” I said, sliding my empty bottle back towards him.</p><p>He scowled slightly but grabbed my empty bottle and set another in front of me, knocking the cap off against the side of the bar.</p><p>He put it on the bar a little harder than necessary, spilling beer all over the counter and I flinched.</p><p>Taking a steady breath I rolled my eyes at his temper, turning back to Robin Hood and Son-of-Coul. Both of who were looking at me weirdly.</p><p>“So, when are the Men in Black actually clearing out?” I asked pointedly ignoring Tommy who was still leering over the bar.</p><p>“A couple of week’s maybe. Just to make sure clear up goes smoothly,” Coulson replied. “And to ensure nothing else happens."</p><p>
  <em>To ensure no Asgardian’s come back and torch the town.</em>
</p><p>“So, Darcy,” Tommy said. I clenched my jaw in anger. “Are you and Alex still a thing because I gotta say, that’d be pretty hot.” He reached his hand towards my face, as if to brush a strand of hair away but I was quicker.</p><p>I grabbed his hand twisting it around, slamming it on the bar, not listening to his cry of either surprise or pain as I reached for my taser, aiming it at his groin, my finger itching towards the trigger.</p><p>I froze at the sounds of guns cocking around the bar.</p><p>Keeping Tommy’s hand pinned to the bar I glanced up to see the seven Agents pointing their weapons not at me, but at Tommy much to my surprise.</p><p>“What the hell!” He cried.</p><p>“Miss Lewis, as much as he might deserve his arm broken or being tasered, I must protest,” Coulson said in a calm tone as if were discussing a movie to watch, he was the only one without a weapon drawn, he hadn't even put his drink down.</p><p>“I don’t,” Robin Hood guy said, his gun still trained on Tommy.</p><p>“You’ll be filling out the paperwork,” Coulson said mildly. Robin Hood winced, holstering his weapon. Waving his hand so the other Agents did the same.</p><p>“Miss Lewis… Darcy? Can I call you Darcy? Miss Lewis seems really formal and official,” Robin Hood said, leaning against the bar casually.</p><p>“Darcy is fine,” I said, turning my attention back to Tommy who was failing to squirm out of my grip.</p><p>“Yes the guys a dick, and if you let him go nobody will ever mention this again, but if you taser him then he’ll say it was assault and that’s millions of pages of paperwork that let’s be honest, none of us, including you, really want to do,” Robin Hood said.</p><p>I glared, clutching Tommy’s arm slightly tighter for a second before letting him go, he pulled away, rubbing his shoulder.</p><p>I slid my taser back into my pocket, giving Robin Hood and Coulson a small sarcastic smile.</p><p>“Fucking pycho bitch,” Tommy said glaring at me.</p><p>I clenched my jaw, leaning swiftly across the bar I grabbed a handful of his hair slamming his forehead against the bar, not hard enough to do any real damage, but hard enough that he’ll have a hell of a headache in the morning.</p><p>“No doesn’t mean convince me, asshole,” I said, pushing him away, he stumbled slightly but didn’t say anything.</p><p>I knocked back the last mouthful of my drink and tossed a couple of bills on the bar. I hopped off my stool and turned to face the two Agents.</p><p>“I think we can turn a blind eyes,” Robin Hood said and I smiled.</p><p>“Thank you. For your consideration,” I said.</p><p><a id="_GoBack" name="_GoBack"></a> “What? Natasha would have shot him!” I heard Robin Hood said as I let the bar door swing shut behind me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Natasha vs Ian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Set during Chapter 25 of Life Is Hard </p><p><b>Chapter Warnings:</b> Natasha assaults a guy who deserves it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Natasha slid through the streets of London, her phone pressed to her ear.</p><p>“I still don’t have a visual, Jarvis,” She said impatiently, scanning the crowd for any sign of her target.</p><p>“<em>Take the next left,” </em>Jarvis said. Natasha complied, darting down the alley pulling herself over the chain link fence with one hand.</p><p>In the alley across the street her eyes landed on him<em>.</em></p><p>“I have eyes on my target. Disable all security cameras in the street,” She said, not waiting for a response, she cut the call, sliding her phone back into her pocket, watching until the lights on the camera’s blinked off in unison.</p><p>Darting across the street into the opposite alley.</p><p>“Hey man!” She called out in a flawless English accent.</p><p>The guy stopped walking and looked around, an arrogant smirk rose on his face as he looked her up and down.</p><p>“What can I do for you, Sweetheart?” He asked.</p><p>“That depends,” She said, with a flirty smile. “What’s your name?”</p><p>“Ian, Ian Boothby,” He said.</p><p>
  <em>Target identified.</em>
</p><p>That was all the confirmation she needed, reaching out she grabbed him, slamming his back against the wall, hard.</p><p>“Whoa! What the fuck?” He cried out in surprise.</p><p>“Aw, I thought you liked it rough,” She said with a faux pitiful look, dropping her English accent. “Or do you only like it rough if you’re the one hitting girls around?” She asked, her arm across his throat.</p><p>“Who the hell are you?” He asked in confusion.</p><p>“S.H.I.E.L.D. codename The Black Widow, perhaps you’ve heard of me. I’m currently based in New York, good friends with Darcy Lewis,” She said, watching with a satisfied look as his face paled.</p><p>“Look it was just a misunderstanding. I don’t know what she’s told you –,” Natasha cut off his ramblings with her fist connecting with the side of his face.</p><p>“<em>That </em>is for kissing her the first time without her permission,” She hit him again, listening to the crack of his nose, blood started to run. <em>“That </em>is for kissing her a second time without her permission,” She hit him a fourth time. <em>“That </em>is for trying to kiss her a third time when she clearly didn’t want to be anywhere near you,” She hit him a final time. “And <em>that, </em>is for the mark across her face,”</p><p>She let go of his jacket and he stumbled to the floor.</p><p>“Don’t <em>ever </em>contact her in any way again. Don’t <em>ever </em>tell anybody about her or what happened over the last couple of days, and don’t <em>ever </em>touch a girl after she says no again,” She said calmly. “If I find out you’ve done any of those things I will be able to find you,” She warned. “Do you understand?”</p><p>Ian nodded vigorously, trying to stop his nose bleeding.</p><p>Without another word she turned and walked back to the apartment.</p><p>Thor opened the door and careful not to let anybody else see she moved to the kitchen sink, washing the blood away before turning back to everybody.</p><p>“Are we ready to go?”</p><p>.</p><p>Natasha helped load the Quinjet, waiting next to the cars as everyone boarded, to far away to hear.</p><p><a id="_GoBack" name="_GoBack"></a> “If you get any reports relating to Ian Boothby. Yes, I kicked the crap out of him,” She said simply, ignoring the looks of shock on the two Agents faces before turning to walk up the ramp, closing it behind her.</p><p>She dropped down in the co-pilots chair, strapping in as Clint took off.</p><p>“How’d you leave him?” He asked, his eyes fixed on the sky.</p><p>“Alive,” She said simply.</p><p>“That’s more than I would have done,” He said with a dark look.</p><p>“We can tell Cap it’s been dealt with,” She said, knowing Clint wouldn’t have killed him.</p><p>She glanced back over her shoulder at Darcy, who had her head pressed against a window, her headphones on, a faraway pained look in her eyes.</p><p>She thought about how she’d flinched away from Clint in the apartment.</p><p>
  <em>Two steps forward, five steps back.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. You loved them both</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Set between Chapter 22 and 23 of Life Is Hard</p><p><b>Chapter Warnings:</b> Implied Depression</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>February 19</b>
  <sup>
    <b>th</b>
  </sup>
  <b>, 2013. Avengers Tower, New York.</b>
</p><p>“How’d you do it?” I asked seemingly randomly, as I lay on my side, looking out over the city skyline, Steve curled around behind me, his arms circling my waist.</p><p>“Do what?” He asked quietly, his breath tickling the back of my neck.</p><p>“Get up each day,” I said before I could stop myself. “You woke up not even a year ago, to <em>nothing </em>familiar you lost everybody you loved, everything familiar and I don’t understand how somebody can get over that,”</p><p>I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. He probably didn’t want to remind of that…</p><p>“They don’t. Or if they do get over it, I’ve not figured out how yet,” He said, pausing for a second, he took a deep breath before continuing. Before the war, after my Ma died it was just me and Bucky, no matter what I was doing, he always seemed to be there. He was all I had for years. We listened to the reports of Pearl Harbour on the radio and… And without a second though we, thousands of other Americans enlisted without a second thought.</p><p>“They wanted Buck. But me, I was a ninety pounds asthmatic, who couldn’t tell the difference between red and blue, could only hear in one ear and that’s not even half of it, I was a liability. Bucky got his orders and shipped out to London with the 107<sup>th</sup>. I met Doctor Erskine the same night. I wrote to Bucky constantly, though I never told him they took me, or that I signed up to be a Scientific Experiment. God he was so mad when he found out…” Steve trailed off for a moment.</p><p>“When I got to Italy and found out he was MIA… That was worse than anything else, even losing my Ma. Peggy and Howard helped me save him, save them all, and from those men came the Howling Commandos. It was an honour to fight besides them.</p><p>“We went out on missions, and we knew anyone of them could be out last. But we went anyway, and we always came back… until one of us didn’t. Buck fell and – and I should’ve done something, <em>anything, </em>but I didn’t –,” Steve broke off with a strangled noise.</p><p>I turned in his arms and my heart clenched at the sight of his tear stained face, an utterly broken look on his face.</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault,” I said softly, brushing his hair back, as he tried to control his emotions.</p><p>“How would you know?” He snapped.</p><p>“Because your relationship with Bucky went down in history. You loved him,” Steve looked up at me sharply, confirming every theory I had of the nature of their relationship. “It’s okay,” I assured him. “You loved him and you would have done everything you could to save him. Bucky was there because he chose to be there. He knew the risks and you have to respect his choice,”</p><p>Much to my surprise, Steve laughed.</p><p>“You know,” He said sitting up slightly. “Someone else once told me the exact same thing,”</p><p>“Clever person,” I said.</p><p>“Oh she was. They would have liked you,” He said, stroking my hair back so he could see my face. “Bucky and Peggy, the rest of the Commando’s too. They’d ‘ve really liked you,”</p><p>Something warm surged inside of me. The thought that the people who meant the most to Steve would have accepted me, liked me.</p><p><a id="_GoBack" name="_GoBack"></a> “But I don’t know,” He said and I looked up at him in confusion. “I don’t know how I get up each morning. I just know that I have to. You help, the team, everyone here helps. Besides, I know that Bucky ‘nd Peggy would tell me to get up off my ass. To live,” He said.</p><p>He looked down at me and I gave a slight comforting smile.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “That you lost everything, and that I can’t make it better,”</p><p>“You do make it better,” He promised. “You make it easier every day,”</p><p>I sighed, turning back to rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady pulse of his heart, as I drifted into a peaceful sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Consent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Set after Chapter 22 of Life Is Hard</p><p><b>Chapter Warnings:</b> Discussions of consent, implications of rape</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been two days since Clint’s birthday, and memories of the night were slowly coming back to me. Now I couldn’t even look at Steve without humiliation flooding through me, and to make things even worse, he seemed to have noticed that I was avoiding him.</p><p>Hence why I was currently hiding in the gym, trying not to put my metal foot through a punch bag.</p><p>I heard the doors slide open, then close, but made no move to turn around.</p><p>“Hey Doll.” I jumped slightly at Steve’s soft voice, but threw another punch, still not turning around. “Can we talk?” I hesitated at his words.</p><p>“About what?” I asked, trying to keep my voice flat as I threw another punch, listening as he came up behind me, placing a softly hand on my arm.</p><p>“About what happened the other night, after Clint’s party,” He said, gently turning me to face him.</p><p>Heat rose up to my face, and I ducked my head.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I was drunk,” I said, shuffling uncomfortably.</p><p>“I’m not angry because you were drunk. I’m not angry at you at all, Doll, you don’t need to apologise for anything,” He assured me, his thumb ghosting across my cheek as he hesitated for a second. “Do you remember what you told me the other night?” He asked.</p><p>I paused, shaking my head in confusion.</p><p>I remember dancing, then stripping, then trying to strip Steve. No details, no coherent words.</p><p>“You told me that ‘Guys don’t care. Guys like it better when I’m drunk.’” He repeated. My eyes widened in horror as I stepped back slightly.</p><p>“I – I –,” I stumbled for an excuse but came up empty.</p><p>“Darcy, Sweetheart, I’m not mad at you, I promise.” He reached out towards me, brushing my hair over my shoulder before I could reach for it. “But you know thats not okay right? You told me before, that you only ever had sex with men after you’d had a few to drink. Is that what you meant? That you were drunk?” He asked gently.</p><p>Humiliation seared through me, my glassy eyes fixed on the floor, I gave the slightest of nods.</p><p>Steve tensed slightly, before taking a deep, forced breath and relaxing, drawing me close to him, burying his face in my hair.</p><p>“Do you understand why I wouldn’t sleep with you that night? Why I didn’t just go along with it?” He asked, his fingers combing through my hair. I wanted to nod, say that I understood, assure him that we didn’t need to have this conversation; but I didn’t understand.</p><p>I shook my head slightly against his chest.</p><p>Steve sighed, gently guiding me over to the tablet, lifting me up with ease, setting me on the edge.</p><p>“Darcy, the other night you were so drunk, that you <em>still </em>don’t remember half the night, it’s a similar effect to if you were drugged. You cannot consent to something if you don’t understand what’s happening,” He said softly.</p><p>My face scrunched up in confusion as I looked up at him, still not understanding what he meant.</p><p>He sighed again, brushing my hair behind my ear.</p><p>“Darcy, I care about you and I <em>respect </em>you. I’m never going to do anything to you that you aren’t 100% okay with, and if you’re drunk or drugged, you can’t decide,” He said.</p><p>My eyes burnt as I looked up at his gentle, patient expression.</p><p>“Do you understand, Doll?” He asked.</p><p>A lone tear slid down my cheek and I gave a hesitant nod, before slowly reaching out, wrapping my arms around his waist, pulling him to stand between my legs as I buried my face in his shirt.</p><p>
  <em>I understand. Oh fuck, I understand! </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Coulson Lives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Clint reacts to learning Coulson is alive</p><p><b>Chapter Warnings:</b> Panic Attack, guilt</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <ol>
<li>
<p><b>April 3</b><sup><b>rd</b></sup><b>, 2014. S.H.I.E.L.D. Facility, New York</b></p>
</li>
</ol><p>“Clint wait –” Darcy called out, I turned away from the vents with an irritated sigh.</p><p>“Darcy we don’t have time for –” I broke off at the look on her face, the fear that had been written across her face since the alarm sounded had now faded, replaced by a completely torn expression, that although I couldn’t quite read what it meant, it was obvious it wasn’t good. “What is it?” I asked, trying to sound a little more patient.</p><p>“There’s something you should know…” She hesitated, opening and closing her mouth several times as if trying to choose her next words carefully. “It’s Coulson.” She managed. “He’s alive.”</p><p>My eyes widened slightly, flinching slightly.</p><p>Of all the people that would crack a joke about Phil, Darcy was <em>the </em>last person I’d ever expected, especially about him being alive. <em>Why would she say that? That isn’t fucking funny! </em></p><p>“This isn’t a time to joke.” I snapped. “Especially – especially about something like that,” My glare darkened as my voice cracked and I forced myself to swallow the lump in my throat.</p><p>“It’s not a joke,” She defended weakly, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I sort of… ran into him while I was in London, he was there, working with a team, his team I think. He made me swear not to tell any of you. When I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I signed the forms just like you and I had no –”</p><p>“<em>Enough!” </em>My shout cut off her rambling before I could stop myself.</p><p>
  <em>He was… He is… But he was… They lied… All this time and I… I can’t…</em>
</p><p>I whirled around, slamming my fist against a locker, leaving a decent fist sized dent in the metal.</p><p>I regretted the action instantly as Darcy made a terrified nose, taking several steps backwards in fear. <em>In fear of me. Fuck!</em></p><p>Several tears dripped down her cheeks as she shook, her blue eyes wide and lost.</p><p>I turned away, forcing myself to take a deep breath.</p><p><em>Focus on your training! </em>I winced as Phil’s voice shouted in my head.</p><p>
  <em>Focus!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two… one…</em>
</p><p>I took two more, less shaky, more controlled, breaths. Reigning in my emotions, drawing my focus back to the mission.</p><p>“We need to move,” I said sharply.</p><p>She winced, fumbling to get a hold of herself she dried her face and nodded.</p><p>“Yes Sir,” She replied, struggling to keep her voice from shaking.</p><p>Turning back to the vent I pulled myself into the shaft with ease, before reaching back down, offering her my hand.</p><p>I crawled through the familiar passages, half aware that Darcy was still behind me as I drowned out the sounds of fighting below us.</p><p>
  <em>He was alive. He had to be. She wouldn’t have said he was if he wasn’t.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You saw her face, she was telling the truth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked terrified, of me… She thinks I hate her. She thought I was going to hurt her…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She knew…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s known for months.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When she came back from London different, we all thought it was because of Ian. But it was because she was lying to us. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She wasn’t lying to us though! She just didn’t tell us, there’s a difference.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You can’t be mad at her. She did exactly what you’ve done every day for the past twenty years. Kept things hidden because you trust the system.</em>
</p><p>‘<em>Trust the system’ look where that got us.</em></p><p>
  <em>This is his fault. He didn’t tell us. He put her in a shitty situation, he made her lie to us for the past several months rather than telling us himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knew how you’d react after his death, with Loki and everything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knew you’d need him then more than ever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knew that Natasha would need him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he wasn’t there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t care.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He let you deal with that on your own.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is his fault.</em>
</p><p>I came to a stop at the end of the system, looking down through the grate at the staircase below.</p><p>There were bodies and blood everywhere. People trying to get out of the building but their paths, their lives were cut short. Innocent people.</p><p>But all of them lay unmoving. It was clear enough.</p><p>I glanced back at Darcy, wincing slightly.</p><p>She’d chewed right through the skin on her bottom lip, blood stain had dripped down onto her chin and stained her top teeth.</p><p>
  <em>Deal with everything later. Right now, you’ve got a job to do and a Rookie to get out of the building.</em>
</p><p>“Watch my six,” I said, watching as her eyes widened, nodding more frantically than she probably intended.</p><p>“Copy that.”</p><p>.</p><ol>
<li>
<p><b>April 4</b><sup><b>th</b></sup><b>, 2014. Avengers Tower, Manhattan.</b></p>
</li>
</ol><p>As everyone dragged themselves towards the elevator I wanted nothing more than to follow them, to lock myself in my private gym and shoot arrow after arrow until the sun came up.</p><p>But I couldn’t.</p><p>Because Darcy, the girl who’d started off as a drinking partner had grown on me to be like the little sister I never got to have, sat staring blankly at the wall.</p><p>She felt like shit, and part of why was because of me. Because I fucked up and hurt her.</p><p>“You need more pain meds?” I asked, shifting closer to her.</p><p>“I’ll be fine.” She shook her head.</p><p>
  <em>Like hell she was. She took a bullet, her first bullet, less than twelve hours ago and has probably had no other pain killers since it was first treated.</em>
</p><p>“Darce, if you’re in pain then take the meds,” I said quietly. Her head whipped round to look up at me, her eyes glassy with a broken look that I hadn’t seen in her eyes in months.</p><p>“I – I –” She cut herself off, sniffling slightly. I watched as she forced herself to breath. “I’m sorry, I know how much Coulson meant to you, means to you, and I wish I’d told you. I never wanted to lie to any of you, but he said he was going to tell you, I didn’t think he’d leave it this long, I swear and I –”</p><p>“Darcy, stop!” I cut her off, not able to sit and watch her beat herself up. “<em>I’m </em>sorry.” Her eyes widened and she started to shake her head, but I carried on talking before she could protest. “I had no right to be mad at you like that. I <em>never</em> should have lashed out. I know how S.H.I.E.L.D. works, I know how Coulson and Fury work. It’s them I’m pissed at, not you. The other’s will see that too,” I assured her.</p><p>She stared up at me with wide, guilt filled eyes.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” She said, her voice weak and strained. I gave a small smile.</p><p>“I forgive you, Cookie.”</p><p>Darcy finally cracked at my words, she sobbed slightly at the nickname, slumping against me as sobs racked through her body.</p><p>Wrapping my arms around her, careful of her shoulder, I didn’t care that she was soaking my shirt. I just gently hushed her as she sobbed apologies over and over again.</p><p>“Steve’s gonna be alright ya know,” I said quietly, my fingers combing through her hair as her sobs turned to light hiccups. “Nat would have said if he wasn’t.</p><p>“I know.” She sniffed, her face still buried in my chest.</p><p>I shifted, pushing her away slightly so she’d sit up on her own.</p><p>She ducked her head, reaching up to dry her face with her sleeve, her face crumpling in pain as she used her injured arm.</p><p>“Here.” I reached for the black case Betty had left on the table, pulling out the vial of morphine and syringe. I filled the syringe but waited until Darcy held out her arm before pressing the needle into the crook of her elbow.</p><p>By the time I cleared the medkit away the drugs were already starting to kick in and she slumped down into my arms.</p><p>I shifted so that we were laying down, she curled up, resting her forehead over my heart as I pulled a blanket off the back of the couch over us, not that she even noticed.</p><p>“I punched him ya know?” She mumbled, her words slurred from exhaustion.</p><p>“Who?” I asked, looking down at her in confusion as Jarvis lowered the lights.</p><p>“Coulson.” She said. “Made ‘gent May smile.”</p><p>I chuckled slightly at the thought.</p><p>“You made May smile?” I grinned. “I’m so proud.”</p><p>She looked up at me, her eyes barley open and managed a dopey smile before her eyes fell shut and she was out.</p><p>I sighed, pulling my hearing aids out, tossing them on the table dropping my head down on the cushion.</p><p>
  <em>Jesus, how long was this shit storm going to last?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><ol>
<li>
<p><b>April 6</b><sup><b>th</b></sup><b>, 2014. Stark Penthouse, Washington DC.</b></p>
</li>
</ol><p>Natasha gripped her wrist tight enough to bruise and I tightened my fists, resisting the urge to reach out towards her, knowing it would only get an elbow in the side of my head.</p><p>“Excuse me,” She said sharply, disappearing into our room.</p><p>I let out a long breath, dropping my head against the back of the couch, running a hand across my face and back through my head before rising to my feet.</p><p>“It’s not your fault, Darcy,” I said, looking down at Darcy, guilt and shame were plastered across her face, when she made no indication of hearing me I sighed and carried on walking.</p><p>Without knocking I pushed open the door, sliding into the room, shutting the door behind me, leaning back against the wall.</p><p>Natasha’s head whipped around towards me, a dangerous glint in her eye.</p><p>“Get out,” She said, her Russian accent slipping into her voice, giving me a clear indication of how bad a state she was in. She ducked her head as she also realised this.</p><p>“No.” I said stubbornly, probably stupidly.</p><p>She whipped round and I dropped to the floor just in time to miss the blade that was no sticking out of the wall where my head was just seconds ago.</p><p>“<span>Оставлять</span>!” She snarled. <em>Leave. </em></p><p>“I’m not leaving you like this,” I said quietly.</p><p>“<span>Во</span> <span>имя</span> <span>любви</span> <span>Господа</span><span>. </span><span>Убирайся</span><span>! </span><span>Я</span> <span>не</span> <span>могу</span> <span>справиться</span> <span>с</span> <span>этим</span> <span>прямо</span> <span>сейчас</span><span>! </span>Мне нужно - мне нужно дышать,” She yelled, her voice stumbling before she broke off. <em>For the love of God. Get out! I cannot deal with this right now! I need to – I need to breathe.</em></p><p>She clutched the dresser tightly, taking several deep breaths, before she turned back to me, her eyes glassy.</p><p>“Я скомпрометирован,” She said, her voice barley above a whisper. <em>I’m compromised. </em></p><p>I stepped forwards, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, sinking to the floor, pulling her down with us.</p><p><a id="_GoBack" name="_GoBack"></a> “That makes two of us,” I murmured, clutching her tightly as she shook.</p><p>“He’s alive,” She breathed in disbelief.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“He’s been alive all of this time, he never said anything. He never came to us… after everything…” She trailed off.</p><p>“He let us think he was dead,” I finished tiredly, dropping my head back against the wall. “All those years at S.H.I.E.L.D… I really thought he cared,” I uttered, my eyes burning.</p><p>“He did,” She murmured softly, shifting to rest her head against my collar bone. Her voice was slightly desperate, like she was trying to convince herself as well as me. “I know he did.”</p><p>“I want to hate him so much,” I said, wincing as my voice cracked. “I did for a while, I hated him for dying, for leaving me. But I’d just started to move on, but now… After everything, he’s been alive for over a year and he never thought to tell us, he got a new team, he put Darcy in a really shitty situation… God I want to hate him for all of that but… But I can’t… and I want to hate him for that too!”</p><p>I sniffed slightly, running my sleeve across my face.</p><p>I wanted to get out of this stuffy apartment, ideally I wanted to shoot something but that wasn’t possible in a billion dollar penthouse, so I wanted to run and keep running until I couldn’t continue. But there was no way Natasha would leave the apartment like this without shooting somebody.</p><p>“Go,” She said, nudging my leg slightly. “I’m okay for now,” She lied. “But you’re not. Go.”</p><p>I smiled slightly, pressing my lips against her hair, holding her close for another second before sliding out from underneath her, pulling myself to my feet and heading out.</p><p>“I’m going for a run,” I said, leaning against the back of one of the couches, as Steve, Sam and Darcy looked up</p><p>“Is that safe?” Darcy asked, looking up at me in concern, before she realised what she said. “Never mind, I forgot who I was talking to for a minute.” She shook her head.</p><p>“No, you’re right,” Steve said. “None of us should go out alone. Between Hydra, ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents and the media, you should take backup.”</p><p>“Mind if I come, Man?” Sam asked. “I missed a run this morning sitting by this idiot’s hospital bed.” He gestured to Steve.</p><p>“Sure.” I shrugged slightly. “I’m not gonna hang back though,” I warned and Sam chuckled.</p><p>“I’d expect nothing less, gimme five?” He gestured to his shoes and I nodded, as he disappeared into his room to change.</p><p>I glanced back over at Nat and I’s room worriedly.</p><p>As much as she said she was, she wasn’t okay. She probably wouldn’t be for a while.</p><p>“We’ll keep an eye on her,” Steve said quietly and I nodded in appreciation.</p><p>“Just don’t let her know that you are,” I said. “Because she will have all our asses.”</p><p>.</p><ol>
<li>
<p><b>April 10</b><sup><b>th</b></sup><b>, 2014. Avengers Tower, Manhattan.</b></p>
</li>
</ol><p>“<em>S.H.I.E.L.D. Bus 616 is requesting permission to land.” </em>Jarvis announced, throwing every chance of a peaceful day out of the window.</p><p>I shot bolt upright from my place laying in the conversation pit.</p><p>
  <em>A S.H.I.E.L.D. jet? </em>
</p><p>“Who’s piloting?” Nat asked, moving over to the windows, scanning the sky for sight of the plane.</p><p>“<em>Agent Melinda May. Her credentials check out.” </em></p><p>Nat looked round at me with a raised eyebrow in question. <em>Didn’t Maria go with May? </em></p><p>I nodded slightly, moving up the steps, half aware of Steve lifting Malia onto the piano stool next to me.</p><p>“Who else is on board?” Tony asked, stepping out of the elevator with Bruce, Thor and Sam.</p><p>“<em>Agents Phillip Coulson, Maria Hill, Antoine Triplett and Skye as well as Doctor Jemma Simmons.” </em></p><p>
  <em>Phil.</em>
</p><p>My breath caught in my throat.</p><p>
  <em>He was here!</em>
</p><p>I looked round to Tony, who turned to Steve.</p><p>“Let them land,” Steve said, his shoulders tense, a scowl etched upon his face as Darcy moved to stand next to him, looking nervous as hell.</p><p>
  <em>This was not going to go well.</em>
</p><p>Nat moved to stand next to me, watching as the plane spun and landed perfectly on the pad.</p><p>Tension filled the room as the ramp lowered and Maria led five mostly familiar people down the ramp.</p><p>My eyes found <em>him </em>instantly and I tensed.</p><p>
  <em>It really was him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He really was alive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Walking, perfectly fine. The same exasperated smile that used to be directed at me or Nat was now directed down at the bright, brunette girl that practically bounced next to him.</em>
</p><p>My eyes flicked downwards as Nat’s hand drifted to the knife in her back pocket, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the handle.</p><p>The door opened automatically, letting the team step into the room.</p><p><em>He </em>looked exhausted but unharmed. Not even a scratch. Still wearing the same stupid suit. That seemed to make everything worse.</p><p>
  <em>Why did he get to be okay when we weren’t?</em>
</p><p>He came to a stop slightly in front of his team and his eyes met mine.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck! </em>
</p><p>“Never got the van, huh?” Darcy said seemingly randomly, not caring for the tension around her.</p><p>The girl that was bouncing on the balls of her feet smiled slightly.</p><p>“I got the van, it got put in a S.H.I.E.L.D. storage facility last I saw of it…” She hesitated, looking up at Coulson. “Shieldra Agents better not have broken my van.”</p><p>Coulson sighed, his eyes still locked on mine.</p><p>“I’m sure they haven’t,” He replied.</p><p>He sounded the same, tired, but the same.</p><p>I struggled to take a breath, clenching my fists tightly, my nails digging into the palms of my hands.</p><p>
  <em>Keep it together. Keep it together.</em>
</p><p>The ringing in my ears drowned out what they were saying. I was half aware of Darcy moving to hug the girl.</p><p>Nat dropped her hand off of her knife, the movement snapped me out of it as she took a step forward.</p><p>
  <em>Aw, Shit.</em>
</p><p>I realised what she was going to do a second too late, reaching for her arm but I was too slow, her sleeve slipped through my fingers as she stalked towards him.</p><p>Phil did nothing to defend himself as she grabbed the front of his jacket, pushing him backwards until his back slammed into the windows, pressing her arm into his throat, her other arm hung reached back, gripping the knife handle, as if debating whether to use it or not.</p><p>I took half a step forward but I was the only one who moved.</p><p>Maria ducked her head, in a sort of ‘I told you so’ way.</p><p>May raised an eyebrow and there was the hint of a smile on her lips.</p><p>She was Phil’s partner. How long had it taken him to tell her?</p><p>“Natasha,” Phil chocked, looking down at her, with wide eyes but still made no move to defend himself.</p><p>
  <em>He could get out of there twelve different ways if he wanted to. But he wasn’t… And Nat was making no indication that she was going to let him go.</em>
</p><p>“Nat,” I called out in a resigned tone.</p><p>
  <em>Sure he deserved it, but killing him would sort of defeat the point.</em>
</p><p>She made no indication that she’d even heard me, I bit the inside of my cheek in irritation.</p><p>“That’s enough Natasha,” Cap said, his voice hard, leaving no room for debate. Nat dropped her arm instantly, taking two steps backwards before turning and moving swiftly into the stairwell.</p><p>My shoulders sagged, looking up at Phil, still leaning back against the glass, looking a little rumpled but perfectly fine before I turned, following after Nat without a word.</p><p>
  <em>That went well.</em>
</p><p>
  <b>+1. April 10</b>
  <sup>
    <b>th</b>
  </sup>
  <b>, 2014. Avengers Tower, Manhattan.</b>
</p><p>I took the stairs three at a time until I got to our floor, pushing open the doors roughly to get into our apartment where Nat was pacing backwards and forwards in front of the TV.</p><p>Her head snapped over, looking slightly dishevelled as she looked up at me as I shut the door softly, and I tried to ignore the tears dripping down my cheek.</p><p>“I can’t –” I broke off with a choked breath as my knees buckled. Nat vaulted over the back of the couch, catching my arm, sliding hers around my shoulders, helping me over to the couch. “I can’t breathe!” I managed, panic rising through my chest.</p><p>“Hey, Clint, look at me. Look at me!” I raised my head, as she clutched my hands tightly. “You’re safe. Nothing else matters, focus on now. You’re safe, I’m here. Take a breath.” Her voice was soft coaxing me to take one breath, then another. “That’s it. You’re okay.” She said, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, letting me sag against her, as she ran her fingers through my short hair.</p><p>“<em>Agent Coulson is requesting entry. Would you like me to tell him leave?” </em>Jarvis asked. Natasha opened her mouth to no doubt say yes but I shook my head, pulling away from her slightly, trying to scrub my face dry.</p><p>“No… I wanna… I need to see him,” I said, the hesitated, looking to Nat. “If you’re okay with it?”</p><p>“Let him in Jarvis,” She said, standing up, turning to face the door, but keeping her hand firmly on my shoulder as I buried my face in my hands.</p><p>I tensed at the sound of the door being pushed open, and familiar footsteps hit the tiled floor.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>I winced at his words, they sounded sincere, like he actually meant them.</p><p>“It’s too late,” I snapped, pushing Nat’s hand away, spinning round to glare at him. He looked pretty crappy, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. “It’s too late to come here with your half assed apologies. It’s too late!” I roared. “It’s been over a year, you left! You got to move on. New team, new assignment.</p><p>“We weren’t so lucky. We had to deal with the shit you left behind. We thought you were dead! <em>I</em> thought you were dead and that was my fault! You let me live with that for months!”</p><p>“It wasn’t your fault,” Natasha murmured from behind me.</p><p>“But it was!” I yelled, looking between the two of them desperately. “I was the one that lead the attack on the helicarrier. I was the one that gave them all the intel of S.H.I.E.L.D’s security systems. I was the one that sent someone to release Loki. I gave that order!</p><p>“And if I hadn’t – If I’d been stronger. He’d ‘ve never gotten out and – and he’d never stabbed you. This was my fault!” I practically sobbed, scrubbing away the treacherous tears that ran down my cheeks with no avail.</p><p>Phil shook his head.</p><p>“No Clint,” He breathed. “Loki had control of your mind, nothing you did while under his influence was your fault.” I felt myself shake my head as he stepped towards me, reaching out, resting his hand on my arm. “It wasn’t your fault.”</p><p>With those words I felt my already weakened resolve crumble.</p><p>Phil wrapped his arms around me and I sobbed at the familiar feeling as I sunk into his chest as sobs wracked my body.</p><p>“It’s not your fault,” He said.</p><p>Every time that Natasha, Nick, Steve, Kate, Darcy even Tony had told me the exact same words, they hadn’t meant anything but now, now that they came from <em>him </em>it seemed to lift a great weight off of my shoulders.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 1944 France</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Set in the middle of that montage in The First Avenger, references to Peggy's gun shot wounds in Agent Carter</p><p><b>Chapter Warnings:</b> Canon-typical violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><a id="_GoBack" name="_GoBack"></a> <b>May 12</b><sup><b>th</b></sup><b>, 1944. The Middle of A Forest, Somewhere in France.</b></p><p>Peggy bit her lip failing to stifle a whimper of pain as her eyes started to drift as she was on the verge of losing consciousness.</p><p>“Come on Carter! Stay with me here,” Bucky said roughly, cutting through her shirt to get a better visual on the wound. He tipped a swig of Dugan's bourbon on to her shoulder and she bit her and to stop herself crying out.</p><p>“I don’t feel so good,” she murmured sluggishly and Bucky glanced up at her face, looking vaguely like she was going to throw up. He really hoped she didn't.</p><p>Bucky scoffed slightly. “There’s a surprise.” He pressed the bottle of bourbon into her good hand. “Drink this. You’ve been shot Carter, twice. It’s not supposed to feel good.”</p><p>She took several mouthfuls of the alcohol and hummed. “’re you qualified for this?” she asked, her words slurring as she tried to keep herself awake.</p><p>“If you can find a nurse around here then they’re welcome to take over. If not, I’m all you’ve got,” Bucky said, shifting around her so he could inspect the back of her shoulder closely, keeping one hand on her back so she didn't fall back against him. He grimaced. “One of the bullets went straight through, the others still in your shoulder. I ain’t got no morphine, Carter. This is gonna be a bitch.”</p><p>“It already is,” she said, gripping the bottle in her good hand tightly. “Where’s Steve ‘nd the others?”</p><p>“Still fighting. You went down, I got you out. We’re ‘bout a half mile away, so try not to scream too loudly,” he advised, tipping some more alcohol over some tweezers.</p><p>“I’m not gonna–” She broke off with a strangled scream as Bucky pressed into the wound, pulling the bullet out as quickly as he could before dropping it down on the truck.</p><p>She pressed her hand back over her mouth as he shushed her and choked back her sobs as she drank more.</p><p>“Ah! Fuck you Barnes!” she spat.</p><p>Bucky chuckled slightly. “Anytime, Sweetheart,” he said.</p><p>Peggy smiled slightly, her eyes drifting shut as she slumped back against him.</p><p>“Carter? Shit! C’mon Peggy, stay with me!” Panic rose up inside of him as he laid her head back against his shoulder, cupping her face to try and get a reaction. “Carter!” he barked.</p><p>Peggy’s head jerked upright in shock and she looked up at him blearily.</p><p>“Bloody hell, no need to shout Sarge,” she murmured, her words slurred together.</p><p>“Stay awake then,” he ordered.</p><p>She somehow managed to roll his eyes. “Sir, yes Sir."</p><p>Bucky guided her back upright. With well practised hands stitched up the three wounds and wrapped them tightly. with the last bandage in their med kit.</p><p>“I sorta broke your shirt Carter, you might wanna take it off,” he advised, wiping his bloodied hands off before he turned to dig through her kitbag for a spare.</p><p>“You’re gonna have to work a little harder than that to get me out of my clothes,” she said, despite the fact that she was pulling the remains of her shirt off with a grimace anyway.</p><p>“Sure Carter,” he snorted then hesitated slightly.</p><p>“Here.” He held out a fresh shirt, she took it and looked down then glanced over at her open kit back with a half-hearted scowl at the invasion of privacy like she wasn't sat shirtless in front of him. “Don’t you have a brother Carter?” He teased as she begrudgingly let him help her put the shirt on, followed by a jumper and then her coat, trying to stop her body going into shock.</p><p>“Not anymore,” she said as he started to do up the fastenings on her jacket.</p><p>Bucky faltered slightly. “Sorry,” he muttered regretfully.</p><p>She took another swig of bourbon as he guided her arm into a sling and looped it around her neck.</p><p>“You didn’t kill him.” She gave a one shouldered shrug, taking another drink, letting herself drift. “Besides, Howard ‘nd the others are like my brothers. Not you or Steve though, that’d be weird.”</p><p>Bucky’s fingers faltered on the knot. “You tryna tell me you’re sweet on me, Carter?” he asked, frowning when he got no response. He moved back around in front of her, her head dropped to the side as she snored softly. “Lightweight,” He mumbled, prying the bottle from her fingers, with one hand, trying to keep her upright with the other.</p><p>He set the bottle aside before carefully scooping her up, confirming that she was well and truly asleep, because if she hadn’t been, she probably would have punched him by now. Trying not to jostle her too much he gently laid her down in the back of the truck, scrunching up his jacket to lay under her head, laying her blanket over her.</p><p>Leaving her pistol next to her head he dropped back off the truck, quickly clearing up the blood splattered rags, putting the top back on Dum-Dum’s bottle, shoving it in the med bag.</p><p>Doing one last sweep he headed back to the truck, climbing onto the back.</p><p>He sat at Peggy’s feet, his back against the wooden panels, his gun resting on his lap to take watch.</p>
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